The 3 P’s of an Unshakeable Submissive
Men are facing more challenges to their masculinity now than they ever have. Their natural instincts to protect, provide and persuade are being defined as toxic. They’re being told that everything that makes you male should be stomped on and out and not even in the fun Dommy way. Whatever your style, you’re being attacked just for being what you naturally are.
If the men who represent the once socially accepted traits of masculinity are struggling in the trenches of identity, submissive men especially, are being put through the wringer and the non consensual bondage of isolation.
Many submissive men already grapple with feelings of inadequacy in a society that rejects their subby disposition.
You’re masculine but sexually submissive? Red flag. You thrive in your career but long for being under the feet of a dominant woman? Swipe left. You are helpful to others but thrive when you’re cleaning the home of a dominant woman? Run.
To desire to be subservient to a dominant woman and to admit it openly is a tough way to find acceptance.
You may feel like you’re constantly having to prove yourself to meet today’s insurmountable expectations of what a man should be. It can make you feel that you’re never going to find someone who wants what you uniquely have to offer.
Men should always be in control and assertive, but what happens when you are in your day to day but yearn to give up control at home or in the bedroom? Or when you have self respect but need to be under the spell of a dominant woman to truly fulfill you? You might feel like you can’t be your true self, that there’s a void you can’t fill and then the outcome becomes a life that isn’t fully lived in or enjoyed.
You live with your head topping above water instead of immersed in the subspace haven you crave.
If you haven’t fully accepted who you are, it will only make it more difficult for you to be complete and to, just as importantly, be selective with the Dominant you choose to surrender your service to.
Not to just any Domme who is willing to use and abuse you, though that can be fun for the likes of us, but the right one for you. When you are more about the quality of the connection than the quantity of times you throw yourself at our feet and mercy, you will inevitably attract one who will respect you for the qualities you bring to the altar of worship.
She will be fulfilled in her dominance as She sees in you the sub who knows and accepts yourself fully and are a discerning sub who approached her in full confidence of your abilities to serve Her.
Become a submissive worthy of respect for what you have to offer. Before you walk, my dear sub, you must first learn how to properly get on your knees.
1. Practice self acceptance and trait development. Accept what you cannot change. You are a submissive, you know it in your core. Accept it so you can learn to thrive as one. You have qualities that if well developed, can help you thrive in service, either to your Domme, to the world or to both. Make the most of your attributes.
If you’re not aware of what they are, take action. Identify aspects of your personality that can be used by the Dominant in your life and develop then as strengths. Know your code, habits, principles, values and your bite so you can feel it most while gagged for Her. Uncollar the beliefs about who you’re supposed to be, the ones that keep that boot on your neck. That’s your Domme’s job.
You may have it in your nature to help, problem solve and even protect others. You may find fulfillment in putting the needs of others above your own- a beacon for compliance and compromise. Carve out a path that molds you into a highly useful sub with substance. A lifestyle Domme worth her salt and spiked stiletto heels will want you fully developed so that you can provide Her with stellar service.
Own it if you find comfort, peace, and genuine happiness in relinquishing control and the burden of decision making. It can stem from various sources, such as the pressure of always being in charge or the sheer pleasure in the surrender derived from being led by another, even when you’re dominant in the streets.
If you thrive in structure, preferring settings where roles and expectations are clearly defined, get clarity on what that means for you before you begin your search. Having a framework within which you can operate and accomplish tasks comfortably will be evident in your interactions when courting a Domme.
What skills do you already have that you can heighten to elevate your future Domme to be her most dominant and powerful?
When you learn yourself completely you will also learn to pick up, on your newly minted sub radar, the Dommes with the maturity and rational leadership capabilities to take on the responsibilities of molding and developing you further.
2. Pride in the abilities that make you useful under the D/s table. Take stock so that you may be selective in who you are loyal in service to. Take pride in your appearance. Make the most of your body. Train. Feed your body fuel and nutrients that make you a stronger, more equipped submissive. Be as attractive as you can make yourself to attract a Domme who wants you beneath Her. Only when you’re confident in your abilities, have integrity and have earned dignified treatment (before you consent to having Her take it all away), can you be selective in your surrender.
3. Purpose. What is the mission you want to be on? Men, regardless of leaning, need direction to set their compass to, where you can thrive in being useful. It gives you coordinates to set your worship and attention. What is it you want to build using who you are and all that you are?
True strength lies in embracing service through who you are and providing a useful body and mind. Acknowledging and respecting your submissive nature is a testament to the resilience and courage it will take to get you there. There is mental toughness in zeroing in your submission to a worthy Dominant who you will surrender control to and without apology. There is a warrior, a knight, a fighter inside you that will enhance every aspect of the submissive you are and one that a Domme will snatch into her lair with the twist of her whip and the hypnosis in her commanding voice.
Until then, the only hard limits you should voice are the ones telling you your type of masculinity is less than, only your Domme gets to do that ;)
